your brain on trauma: how about we only vaguely remember this event, and we can't be sure if we made it up or dreamed it (if we say it out loud other people will accuse us of making it up or dreaming it so better we assume that on our own) or if it was real, but the consequences of this, seemingly made up event, are so severe we can't normally live our life, we feel anxious, ashamed, guilty, paranoid, restless and hurt, but however all these symptoms, they aren't proof enough that this event happened or that it traumatized us, no, maybe we just feel all that, because there's something wrong with us - we're weak, thats it, we made this up and now we feel horrible about it all on our own, there's no way it could have been real--
I can trust myself. I have been gaslighted, there is nothing wrong with my memory.
BPD feels: feeling the need to end your therapy while it is the only thing that keeps you going
Everyone always says I’m so strong for being able to control my bpd. Lol I can’t really control it. I just can for a short period of time. Then it gets bad again and I end up over my head all over again. I’m weak. I wish there was a way to make it all disappear.
Please don’t remind me about what happened because I remember. I didn’t forget. I couldn’t forget. I’ll never forget.
